I don’t know if you heard but since mom had me, she’s taking a small break from blogging and writing in general. So, I thought I’d take her spot and introduce myself. My name is Jacob William Probst. Son of the Probst clan on Moon Lake. I was born on August 8, 2013 weighing in at 6 pound 12 ounces.
Life has been pretty crazy the past few months. I guess years for mom. But that pre-dates me so I’ll start with what I’ve been up to. A few months ago, I decided to give mom a run for her money and play with her blood pressure. My goal was to get her on bed rest so that she’d have time to rest up before I arrived. I quickly discovered she is not the greatest listener. It turns out she’s also old (35 for Pete’s sake). The combination resulted in me getting a little antsy. Which I guess resulted in the doctors getting a little antsy which ultimately resulted in them attempting to jump start my delivery date.
Guess what? I didn’t like that. I refused to come out. Mom suffered for about 25 hours before the doc finally said, I don’t think your little guy wants to come out. You think? I still had 3 more weeks of lounging to do. But, the doc had different plans for me. Next think I knew I was screaming bloody murder and the clock of life had officially started. It turns out in my wild days I had somehow put a true knot in my lifeline (aka cord) and wrapped it around my neck, so it is probably good it ended this way. I know mom, dad and docs were relieved this chapter of my life was over.
Since then, we’ve been chilling as a family after an extended stay at the hospital. Turns out in addition to me, mom and dad have four very hairy kids. They like to sniff around me, especially while I’m eating. I haven’t had a chance to look in the mirror yet but I can only hope I’m cuter (and not as hairy). A couple of them tend to puke up what I’ve heard are hairballs—my spit-up doesn’t even hold a candle to that nastiness. But, I definitely poop more so I’ve got them beat on that end.
Mom says I’m a miracle baby. She tends to say this when she’s crying (which is daily right now but she keeps saying they are tears of joy so that’s a good thing I guess). If you ask dad, he’d say there is a scientific explanation for how I came to be. But, I’ve seen the way he looks at me when he thinks nobody is watching. While new to this whole life thing, I must admit I’m digging this whole unconditional love thing.
Since coming home, I’ve went on several adventures. My first stroller ride was to the local library with mom. Mom and dad are obsessed with books… I wonder if they recognize by the time I’m in school, books will be so old school. That said, we practically have a library in our house and I already have a book shelf packed with books. Mom’s been reading me OK magazine. Dad says it’ll make me stupid. But, I must admit I enjoy hearing the latest about all of the celebrity babies right now, although Prince George and North West are not nearly as cool as Jacob of Moon Lake.
We did a family hike on our Herbster land. Dad says this land will be the down payment for my college. Not sure what that means but it has lots of trees so that’s cool I guess. Rumor has it that my dad makes his money off of trees. Afterwards we went to Lake Superior. I like water but I wasn’t crazy enough to go swimming in it the way Joey did. She’s nuts. Granted, she’s a lot furrier than I, but still the world’s largest lake can’t be too warm. Even a baby knows that.
Twice now we’ve went to something called garage sales. I’m not quite sure why we are bargaining on other people’s garbage but mom, and especially dad, seem to get a kick out of it. Supposedly, a lot of the things I have come from these odd sales. I just enjoy them because it means I get to ride in the car, which is very relaxing. That said, most of my car time has ended with time at the doctor’s office. I guess I lost a lot of weight in the beginning which had some folks on edge. But, I’ve been eating like a horse and yesterday I officially weighed in at bigger than my birth weight. (Even if you factor in the 2 ounces of milk I spit-up right after they finished weighing me).
I’ve also met quite a few old people. Family, friends, co-workers, and even random folks off the street who cock their head to one side and ogle me like I’m some rare, precious gem. Lots of people seem very happy to meet me and are constantly congratulating mom and dad. That said, I do know I’m pretty special so I can see why folks would say that.
This weekend I’m heading to my first County Fair. Mom says I’m too young to enjoy my first mini doughnut. But, she thinks I’ll enjoy looking at furry, four legged creatures. (I think she’s more into taking pictures of me near said creatures). She also has dreams of my winning the mutton busting competition some day. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
After that, I’m not sure what comes next. This whole time thing has me tripped up. Mom says we need to take it moment by moment. Dad doesn’t seem to acknowledge time at all. My life is measured in days. My feedings are measured in minutes. My sleep is measured in hours while mom’s is measured in cat naps. All of that said, I’m operating on what I call Jacob time.