Today marks 14-years of marriage. I cannot help but replay that day over in my head and ask, if I could do it all over again, would I?
The answer, even after all of these years, is still a solid yes.
My dad, who was often times a man of few words, said something to me on my wedding night that I’ll never forget. He asked, “does Steve make you happy?”
My answer that night was simply, yes.
“Then I’m happy for you,” he said.
If asked again, I think I’d modify that answer slightly. My life is better with Steve in it and I’m happy because of that. I’ve discovered, especially in these past few years as I went on some crazy self-improvement quest, that happiness is a product of me living in alignment with what matters most to me. This includes a life with an incredible guy named Steve.
Fourteen years ago, I was blessed enough to marry a man who embraces me and all my crazy quirks. He allows me to be me and I hope to do the same for him. I hope we stayed married for another 14-years and God willing, 14-after that. The best advice I can give myself to make that happen is something my son said to us last Christmas. We were sitting at the dinner table and Jake said, “dad, I don’t know how you survived living with this woman before me.”
My response, “that is sort of a mean thing to say.”
“Well, not so much you as your farts. But how could you live with him? He totally stinks up the bathroom.”
So true, Jake. So true. The truth is, the sooner you acknowledge that marriage isn’t perfect the better. That in fact, as soon as you accept everyone shits, both literally and figuratively, the sooner you’ll learn to love each other in spite of the imperfections we all bring to the table. And, that’s what makes not only for interesting dinner conversation but a beautiful, messy and mostly happy life together.
For those wanting to share their life with someone, I hope you all find someone as stinky as Steve.